I hope you guys are working on these things (shop names, statements, images etc.). If you are, why not put what you have on the blog to get some feedback?
OK, so here is my first run at my bio statement:
"As an artist who is serious enough about clay to have gone to grad school, earned an MFA, and who continues to share his passion for the art by teaching others, I am committed to craftsmanship and well executed artistry. But I don't just make pots because it is a job I have trained for. I enjoy being creative and working with clay, and hopefully this is evident in my work. If I was independently wealthy I would still make pots but give them away to people who I know would appreciate them. And as one of my instructors, the great potter Ron Meyers, is able to show in his own work, striving to make the best pots possible doesn't necessarily mean making sober ultra serious work. It can also mean that the pots have a casual, unpretentious and playful character. I like to think of my work as "top notch crockery" because on the one hand my pots are good pots, but on the other hand I don't take myself or my work so seriously that I can't have fun at my own expense. When I am teaching others I make the point that the most important thing they can do with clay is have fun. A foundation of good skills and craftsmanship is an open door to the experimentation and creative inspiration that makes working with clay so enjoyable. So how would I describe myself as an artist? Seriously casual, dedicatedly loose, strictly unpremeditated, and above all committed to experimentation. And the pots that result from this confluence of contrariness? One of a kind eclectic functional pots that show the hand of the maker in the process of their production. Strong rib marks, finger impressions where the pot was picked up, distortions and manipulations that take the pot out of perfect round, visible seams where attachments were joined, and glazes that respond to the strong character of the forms are some of the qualities that I enjoy. I hope you enjoy them as well!"
OK, so what do you think? I need your feedback, but how do you think some one who doesn't know me will respond? Will they even understand what I am trying to convey?
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4 comments:
It's very well-written and thorough, but I would suggest that for etsy it's more important rhetorically to keep things pithy. I'm not talking about enacting any violence on the text, but a fairly radical cut could be in order.
I have a trick I use for making abstracts for my scholarly essays that might apply here. For my papers, I'll simply go through the paper, pick out every topic sentence, and put them together into one paragraph with new transitions.
If I need a shorter abstract, I have an even more extreme form - I isolate key words, cut any repetition, and create new sentences connecting the key terms. The usually turns a paragraph into about 150-200 words, which I think would be just right for an etsy profile. I think that technique would work for you here, since it seems like a lot of what you're saying is circulating around the same set of words: creative, casual, serious, loose, and various related terms.
In dealing with an electronic medium, remember one thing above all - people have short attention spans.
Thanks Gabe! Exactly what I needed to hear. I end up feeling I need to explain things, and in order to do a credible job I end up being ridiculously thorough. No sense in that, for etsy purposes at least. My new mantra needs to be "pithy"! Thanks!
Alright Carter.. I will be the first to admit I totally lack an attention span when it comes to the written word. I love bios that are short, quirky, and almost kind of vague. I also like reading things that feel like someone is speaking to me conversationally.
I read over your bio, and these are the sentences that jumped out at me.. the 'keeper' parts in my opinion.
"I like to think of my work as "top notch crockery" because on the one hand my pots are good pots, but on the other hand I don't take myself or my work so seriously that I can't have fun at my own expense. So how would I describe myself as an artist? Seriously casual, dedicatedly loose, strictly unpremeditated, and above all committed to experimentation. And the pots that result from this confluence of contrariness? One of a kind eclectic functional pots that show the hand of the maker in the process of their production."
I really like these sentences in particular because they are to the point, real, and personal..
Wow Sarah! I had no idea that anything good could be made from the way this was written, but you did it! I think I will use what you put together as my profile and use the second one as the statement for the store front. Thanks for the helpful suggestion!
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